Quite possibly one of the most emasculating and embarassing things about having MS for me is the loss of bladder control. I have almost all of the urinary problems people describe: frequency, urgency, incomplete emptying, dribbling, inability to go, starting and stopping, no bladder pressure, and of course, loss of nocturnal control, aka bedwetting. Perhaps one of the most motivating things about having had a CCSVI procedure (and the subsequent vein reconstruction) are the little victories that seem to come along every now and again.
I've never really posted about one of my MS problems because I assume most MS people know of this to be an issue and also because a 45 (now 46) year old man shouldn't be dealing with the inability to wake up before peeing in the bed at night. But I do. For about 3-4 years now, somewhere in there anyway, I started having to go to bed with a diaper. I could beat around the bush and call it an adult undergarment, but let's call a spade a spade - I've been sleeping with diapers to try and keep my wife from divorcing me over having to wash the sheets every day. I was treating my bed like a dog treats a fire hydrant almost nightly. First few times it happened was a shock followed by some intense anger, disbelief, and worry. It's hard to feel sexy and wanted waking up in the middle of the night in a puddle the size of a bathtub, fetching a giant beach towel to mop some of it up as I lay awake wondering why my life has gone this way. It's emasculating as anything I can imagine.
The good news is, since my vein reconstruction on August 12th, I seem to have this one beat. No incidents for a good 3 months now so I decided to go out on a limb and write about it. I'm back to sleeping in my normal bedroom garb (I'll try to keep that vague for decorum purposes - no need to ruin anyone's appetite), and I wake up one or two times a night to get some relief, then wake up in the morning without foul or foam. Kind of a nice feeling, actually. A far cry from waking up every hour - 6-8 times a night - in soaking wet sheets and spending day after day exhausted. It just wasn't a great day when I finally went to Walmart to pick up the product......
Anyway, not to belabor the point in a weird subject, I see this as another little sign that perhaps I'm moving toward the right direction in terms of my overall progress. Remember, my goal is to say I HAD MS, not have it, and things like this help me in my pursuit. Perhaps writing about it will help keep someone motivated to do what's necessary to keep the jugular veins open and circulating well.
