EZP 11-27-09


It’s my latest phrase to measure my progress.

Most people with MS have troubles with the bathroom. We poop ourselves about as often as a toddler who has learned better but still messes up now and again. We have to run to the bathroom all the time but are often disappointed with a dribble and a follow up trip in five minutes.

A few weeks ago I was having an herbal tea at a coffee house with a friend. I’d just got out of the pool and was feeling pretty good about the swim. The drive is about 15 minutes from the pool to the coffee shop, and I always make a tea for after the swim. We met, sat down, started to talk, and chatted about the things we chatted about, when suddenly I realized I had to go to the bathroom a little more vigorously than usual. I got up and ran off, saving the apologies for later. I went into the bathroom and felt good about the fact that I made it without any mess.

Suddenly a feeling I hadn’t had for a LONG time came over me. I had a nice stream being pumped out of my bladder like a normal person. It wasn’t the old dribble, start and stop, dribble some more routine. It wasn’t the usual argument my bladder has with my urethra about who is winning the war (sorry, only someone who has these symptoms would know what this feels like). It wasn’t even the start out good only to have it end prematurely. Nope, this was a normal trip to the bathroom complete with a bladder pump and an open urethra letting the flow go. It was an EZP (easy pee).

It felt awesome. The relief one gets from an EZP is comparable to the relief one feels when their child is born with 10 toes. Normal people feel it all the time. I almost forgot what it was like. There I was, urinating with a stream extending 12 inches in front of my body and down in a nice arc, not dribbling straight down between my legs and splattering on my feet.

In the past few weeks since, I have had 4 EZP trips to the bathroom. Four. 4. Quatro. People who don’t have a life like this don’t count the number of times they pee normally. I do. 4 times feeling relief as my bladder pumps the fire out with a high pressure hose. 4 times feeling like my bladder was completely empty for an hour or two. 4 times smiling because of how it felt inside.

E-Z-P…..It’s note a file extension. It’s relief. And it's progress